


Mind Games

by fangirlingacrosstheuniverse



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alien of the Week, F/F, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Secret Santa, Telepathy, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 19:57:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18532075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlingacrosstheuniverse/pseuds/fangirlingacrosstheuniverse
Summary: Yaz lives a simple life. She wakes up; she watches the daily warnings on the vidscreen; she does some yoga; she goes to bed. And everything is fine.Isn't it?





	Mind Games

Yaz woke up, frowning as she stretched her stiff muscles out. She'd been sleeping badly, and waking up with a stiff upper back for the last few days, even with her morning yoga sessions. She'd taken up yoga during her time in the police academy, and she tried to do it semi regularly to keep up her flexibility.

She had nothing urgent on today, so she had a leisurely morning, making herself a cooked breakfast and lingering in the shower.   
Once she was dressed, she sat down in front of the vid screen to watch some TV; it was important to keep up with the news.

"It's a lovely day here in Floria, with clear skies, a slight breeze, and no sightings of unsavoury persons. Keep watchful, citizens!"

Yaz switched off the vid screen. Everything was normal, but her vague unease persisted. Something didn't feel right.

She went to the kitchen to make herself a snack. She stopped, snack in hand, to admire the view. Fluffy clouds drifted by, and the tree branch just outside swayed in the gentle breeze. The familiar view soothed her.   
Everything was fine.

An electronic humming buzzed in her head, causing her to sway. She gripped the windowsill with her free hand, managing to stay upright. The humming stopped, and she stood upright again.

It was shaping up to be one of those days. Mostly her life was quite calm, but there were days when she couldn't quite seem to settle.   
Yaz couldn't put her finger on it, but sometimes she felt like her life wasn't quite... right. Like part of her was trapped, deep down, yelling that this wasn't right. But what else would her life be?   
Maybe everyone just felt a little confused from time to time. There was nothing she could do about it, so she may as well keep living her life, day to day.   
———————  
She lay in bed, unable to shake her feeling of unease. She stared at the ceiling, illuminated by the red LED light of the vid screen. Tonight, the usually comforting small light was only adding to her strange tension. She rolled over, closing her eyes against the light. She pulled the pillow over head. Maybe she would feel better in the morning.   
————————-  
She awoke feeling refreshed, with a new sense of purpose. She would simply put these feelings behind her and focus on living her life.   
Feeling better already, she got out of bed, ready to start the day.

After a leisurely breakfast, she stood at the window stirring her tea.

"Yaz!"

A voice calling her name shattered her calm. She yelped and dropped her mug of tea, watching as it smashed on the wooden floor. She stood for a moment, listening for the voice to call again, but it never did.   
After a moment she shrugged to herself and went to the kitchen to grab a cleaning rag.  
These things happened sometimes.   
Best to ignore them.

—————————  
Despite her resolution to live in the moment, she couldn't sleep that night. She tossed and turned, unable to shake the image of a blonde woman.   
Though she knew to be suspicious of strangers, particularly familiar seeming strangers (that was how they got you, the vid screens explained) something about the woman drew her in. She wanted to get closer, but something was stopping her.   
The woman faded in and out of sight. Sometimes she was entirely visible, down to the smallest details of her clothing and hair. Other times, she appeared to be nothing more than a person shaped outline in the darkness.

She called out, in a voice that Yaz somehow knew better than her own.

"Yaz! We're gonna get you out of this, I promise. Just hang tight! Try and focus on me. Focus on my voice."

The voice faded in and out, providing a backdrop to Yaz's dreams. She floated against a backdrop of stars; she drowned under a deep blue blanket, darker than the night sky; she smothered in a cocoon woven by a giant spider. She slept fitfully, fretting and fidgeting, mind full of the blonde woman, under the red light of the vid screen.   
When she awoke, having kicked off all the blankets, she remembered nothing of her dreams.

————————-  
She relaxed over the next few days. Hopefully the disturbance had been a one time thing, and she could now move on with her life. 

Her days fell into a routine of yoga, cooking, watching the vid screen, and sleeping.

Her peace was shattered by a knock on the door. That was odd. No one had knocked on her door for as long as she could remember.   
She darted a glance at the vid screen- maybe she should just ignore it and it would go away .   
The knocking came again, more insistent this time. She looked at the door, conflicted.

She felt like she was divided into two people; one who was scared of what might be on the other side of the door, and one who felt drawn to open it.

She felt herself stand, seemingly on autopilot, and go to the door. The vidscreen light seemed to flash, and for a moment she almost turned around and went back to her room. 

Almost lay down in bed and drowned out the knocking with a pillow over her head, until it went away again.

But she didn't.

She made up her mind, turned her back on the vid screen, and reached for the door.

She turned the knob and pulled it open- 

and the Doctor stood on the other side.

Yaz's memories came flooding back at the sight of her: Sheffield, the TARDIS, Ryan and Graham. Her family. How could she have forgotten her family?

She swayed under the onslaught of memories, but the Doctor reached out and caught her before she could fall. In her last moments of consciousness, Yaz heard the Doctor talking softly.   
"Sleep, Yaz. You're safe now."

—————————-  
Her return to consciousness was gradual.  
Slowly, she became aware of her surroundings as her senses seemed to tune back into the real world.   
She felt herself lying on a bed. But it was firmer than her bed, and it had a different smell. More... medicinal.  
The TARDIS medical bay!   
She'd only been here once before, when Ryan had cut himself badly on a piece of metal in a scrapyard.

Ryan...  
She remembered everything now- the TARDIS, her friends, the Doctor... but she also remembered living alone, under the ever watchful eye of a vid screen.

What was the truth?   
She wanted the TARDIS to be real, wanted more than anything for the Doctor to be her friend. Maybe... more than a friend, but she ruthlessly quashed that thought.

The vid screen had issued daily warnings about strangers who would pretend to be friends, only to...something. No one could be trusted. It never went into detail. Yaz couldn't quite shake the residual fear left by the daily news.

Sometimes she heard voices talking to and about her, asking her to wake up, but the conflict between what she saw and what she remembered scared her, and she remained asleep.

She didn't dream.

—————————-  
"I'm worried, Doc. It's been weeks- shouldn't she be waking up?"

"I know, Graham. I'm worried too. You get some rest, I'll stay with her, alright? You know I need less sleep than you do."

Graham protested, but the Doctor wore him down. Eventually Yaz heard his footsteps receding into the distance, and the doors of the medical bay closing behind him.

"Yaz, I know you're awake."  
The Doctor's voice, laced with amusement and affection.   
But could she trust the evidence of her ears?   
Should she?

The Doctor's voice gentled, and she felt a hand rest on her cheek.

"Oh dear, you are all torn up inside aren't you. You don't know which way is up at the moment, do you? Let me see if I can help."

Yaz's eyes remained closed, but suddenly the Doctor stood in front of her. Despite her inner turmoil, she drank in the sight of her. It felt like a part of her had been missing, and was now back.   
She blinked, then wondered how that could happen if her eyes were still closed.

"Don't... worry about it too much. You're kind of... in two places at once. Well, one place, but there's two of you. Well, kind of two. Well-"

"Doctor!" Yaz interrupted, suddenly aware she hadn't spoken aloud in... a long time.   
Somehow she knew if someone didn't stop her, the Doctor would explain all the technicalities of... whatever was happening, without ever actually explaining the situation.

"Right... sorry. Okay, I know you're a little confused right now, but I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"

Yaz wasn't sure of a whole lot else right then, but she trusted this woman. Possibly more than was healthy. She believed, somewhere deep inside, with the sort of faith usually seen in pets for their owners, that the Doctor would never let anything bad happen to her. The little voice instilled by the vid screen was fading, and she felt more clearheaded by the second.

"I'm... glad to hear that." The Doctor said, an unreadable expression on her face.   
"We need to sit down and talk, I think, but before that you and I need to do some spring cleaning. Look around; what do you see?"

For the first time, Yaz examined her environment.   
They stood next to a large shelf with hundreds of separate sections, stretching off into the horizon on every side. The shapes of the sections seemed fluid, changing every second. One minute the section closest to her was polished mahogany, then it seemed to be a liquid, then it was a smooth yellow.   
She stared in wonder, eyes darting around, trying to take it all in.

She felt, more than heard, the Doctor smile.  
"I know it's a bit overwhelming, but you need to focus for a bit. We're in your mind. Some aliens came through here, trying to get to me through you, and they've left a bit of a mess. We need to clean up. If you turn around-"  
She took Yaz by the shoulders and turned to look in the opposite direction. Yaz's skin tingled at the close contact, then she did a double take. Opposite the shelves was a pile of coloured pieces, each around the size of her head. They were all shapes in colours, and looked like they had been thrown haphazardly.

The Doctor looked at her seriously.   
"Those... are your thoughts. But they should be-"  
She turned back and gestured to the shelves.  
"-in there. We need to put them back in, because your mind is designed to be organised. It needs to be, or else- bad things would happen. Let me just demonstrate quickly-"  
The Doctor reached and pulled a piece out randomly, looked at it for a moment, then quickly stuffed it into a drawer.   
"Like so. And if there's anything you don't want me to see, just... put it behind another door."

Yaz was a little confused, but she was pretty sure she understood the concept. And despite her slight confusion, she still felt the most clearheaded she had in a long time. She wasn't sure how to 'put her thoughts behind a door', but she couldn't remember anything she desperately needed to hide from the Doctor.

Still uncertain, she joined the Doctor next to the pile.   
She picked up a piece and looked at it. It has a similar texture to a shard of glass, with jagged edges. For some reason, this piece had a melted grey outline. She looked at it closer, and saw movement on the surface. As she looked closer, it felt like she was falling.

Yaz stood, wiping down her clothes. She'd volunteered to help with the cleanup of the sentient sandstorm, while the others had gone back to the TARDIS to recuperate. The sand seemed to cover every inch of her, and she was more than ready to shower it off.   
She rounded the top of the hill, and the TARDIS finally came into sight. She relaxed at the sight of it, already planning which of the fancy shower gels the Doctor seemed to collect that she would use.   
A voice sounded behind her, causing her to jump.   
"Yasmin Khan. You have been selected."

The screen went black, and Yaz was back standing in...her mind.   
The Doctor was sorting through pieces, with her back to her.   
Yaz was rattled, but decided to keep going with cleaning. She found a storage section that was a harsh, gunmetal grey, and locked the piece inside. The Doctor turned to look at her as she slammed the door of that section shut.

"Ah, you found one of the affected pieces. The grey edges are a kind of... telepathic goo... as a result of the aliens in your mind. You've already started putting them away... maybe just put all the grey edges ones in the same place. And uh... lock the door once you're done. The contamination is technically gone, but best not to take any risks."

Yaz blinked, again feeling the strange mirroring sensation of her body being in two places at once.  
Right-o. Grey edged pieces locked away, don't think about it too much. Yaz was completely on board with not thinking too much. Her mind felt tired, like it had stretched out past it's usual range of motion.

She continued on with her work, falling into the rhythm of looking at the pieces and putting similar ones together. She had a sense of where to put each one, feeling some of the drawers calling to her. It was like the little memory pieces were magnets trying to stick to their respective shelves.

"Ah!"  
Yaz was distracted from her routine by the Doctor crying out.

"What's up?" She asked, slotting her current piece (a memory of her and Ryan attempting to cook using the very alien utensils in the TARDIS kitchen) into its pale orange drawer.   
The Doctor looked at her again with that unreadable expression

"Nothing. Don't worry, I just...kicked my foot."  
Yaz looked at her weirdly, then shrugged internally and returned her attention to the pile. Doing so, she missed the Doctor's relieved sigh.   
Looking at the pile, she was pleased to see they'd made a sizeable dent.

She picked up the next piece and almost dropped it. Blushing furiously, she snuck a glance over to see if the Doctor had noticed, but she seemed blissfully unaware of Yaz's turmoil as she continued her sorting.   
Reassured, Yaz turned her attention back to the piece.   
It was mostly unremarkable, but the feelings that accompanied it still sent waves through Yaz. The piece was a similar size to the rest, but somehow it seemed bigger. Like it gave off an aura of pure emotion.   
The scene on it, when Yaz peered closer, also seemed to be nothing special. She and the Doctor walked into the TARDIS kitchen, discussing the relative pros and cons of lavender cookies. Yaz recognised the scene- she had pointed out a bit of icing on the Doctor's cheek, and awkwardly picked it off with her finger. But that, she remembered, was not what she had wanted to do. She'd wanted to lick it clean, off the Doctor's face. It was the first time she'd thought of her friend in a non platonic way, but definitely not the last. Hurriedly putting that piece back into its spot, she grabbed the next piece.   
The Doctor hugging her and spinning in relief after they'd saved the day.  
Damnit.   
Another piece.  
The Doctor laughing uproariously, eyes crinkled with that contagious humour.   
Yaz remembered now; she had it bad.

Soon, it was over, and they stood looking at each other over an empty pile.   
Trying to get her mind off the subject of her relationship with the Doctor, Yaz spoke up.   
"So... what actually happened?"   
The Doctor blew out her breath, sitting down on a sofa Yaz was pretty sure hadn't been there a second ago. She beckoned for Yaz to join her.  
Yaz joined her on the sofa, sitting awkwardly on the edge like a bird on a perch.

The Doctor didn't meet her eyes, all her attention focused on the hemline she was fiddling with.

"You were targeted. Because of me. I... let you get a bit far away from me, and they caught you and trapped you in your own mind. I think the plan was to crack into your mind and figure out my secrets, but you managed to hold out against them. And then you let me back in! Even with them trying to erase your memories of me. Thanks for opening that door by the way; I couldn't have helped you if you hadn't done that."

Yaz blinked in confusion, which she seemed to be doing a lot lately.   
Somehow, the explanation made sense. And she'd certainly seen weirder things while travelling with the Doctor.   
Probably.

"Exactly! Tons of weird stuff in the universe, and you with no protection against hostile telepathy. I should really give you guys some telepathic training."

Yaz stopped fidgeting, mind catching on a point.   
"Wait... I didn't say that but about the weird things. I thought it."   
The Doctor looked a bit sheepish.

"Yeah... we're in your mind. I sometimes have issues differentiating between speech and thoughts when I'm in someone's mind. Sorry. I try not to."

Yaz shrugged. At this point, her emotions felt wrung out like a sponge from all the memories she'd viewed. She just wanted to sleep, really.

"Right! Sleep for Yaz! Okay, back to the real world in three, two-"  
Everything went black. Yaz woke up back in her bed in the TARDIS medical bay, with the Doctor leaning over her, one pale hand on Yaz's cheek. Yaz's skin felt heated, especially compared to the coolness of the Doctor's alien skin.   
The Doctor looked at her, then at her own hand, then back at Yaz.   
Yaz saw something in her eyes, something that-

"Yaz, you're awake!"  
She was distracted from the Doctor's proximity by Ryan's voice as he practically ran into the room, Graham hot on his heels. The Doctor snatched her hand away, and Yaz couldn't help but be annoyed at the boys for their timing.

The Doctor shot her a look, and Yaz remembered what she'd said about telepathy. Had the Doctor picked up on that?   
The Doctor met her eyes over Ryan's head, and she nodded slightly.

A warm feeling coiled in Yaz's gut at the expression in the Doctor's eyes.  
Somehow she knew they would continue this conversation later.   
The Doctor gave her a small wink, and Yaz stared at her in wonder.

Later.

The knowledge that they would continue this later blossomed in her stomach, and she had trouble keeping the grin off her face as she talked to Ryan and Graham.

Later.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Thasmin Secret Santa at the end of last year, and I've been meaning to polish it up a bit and publish it here. I only did a small edit, so sorry for any mistakes/awkward sentences.


End file.
